Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 55

Thread: How tough is Chuck Norris?

  1. #26
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Cedar Park
    Posts
    4,301

    Default

    Chuck Norris puts his pants on BOTH legs at a time!
    PL Laird

    2012 Yamaha FZ8
    My other bike is a Dubya Arr Fo Fiddy Eff

    "Good judgment comes from experience,...experience comes from bad judgment."

    Check out the TSBA Austin Chapter on Facebook

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2,703

    Default

    Chuck Norris uses Tobasco hot sauce as eye drops!
    Mase Molina
    2009-2011 RGV Chapter President
    Cell# 956.342.2631
    email: nursemmolina at yahoo dot com
    1999 BMW K1200RS
    2004 KAWASAKI ZX10R (sold)
    2007 KAWASAKI ZX1400R
    2004 Ducati 749R No.189
    1985 Honda VF1000R

    "If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."~Author
    Unknown

    "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "

    I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
    Dave Barry

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    McAllen, TX
    Posts
    312

    Default

    Chuck Norris is a siss.....

    Thump! Whack!!

    Nevermind...
    Jeff Folk
    2004 Honda VFR 800fi (Åsa)
    1996 Suzuki GSX750ft (Lucy)


    ^^^ Don't be this guy!^^^

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    McAllen, TX
    Posts
    338

    Default

    God wanted to see if he could build a door so strong that He couldn't open it and before He had a chance to try Chuck kicked it in!!!
    Randy L.

    WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    4,217

    Default

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Carlos Muriel
    "Speedy McSpeed"
    TSBA RGV Chapter Geek/WebmasterCowbell Sensei
    2008 Ducati 848 Slave I
    2003 CBR600RR TIE/x1 Fighter --- Sold to a Corellian Smuggler
    "Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul"

    http://mandalorian.wordpress.com/

    Quote Originally Posted by MaseK12rs View Post
    I'm a Honda guy.



  6. #31

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GhostRider View Post
    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
    ILMAO I like that one! I can't wait to tell my son
    Jason A Balencia Sr
    2011 RGV Chapter Secretary
    956-501-9731

    **********************************
    Not As Lean, Not As Mean, Always A MARINE!
    **********************************


  7. #32
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Mcallen
    Posts
    304

    Default

    Ernest Brown
    05 zx10
    cell 956-929-2420

  8. #33
    Ninja Master 10R's Avatar
    Ninja Master 10R is offline AKA "The TicketMaster" I look better on video...
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Pharr, TX
    Posts
    1,827

    Default

    now that's funny right there!
    Kasey Lewis
    2011 RGV Chapter Vice President
    Cell: 956-227-5765
    kasey.lewis@valleyarmature.com


    "I did it because i could, not because i thought it was smart!"


    CMRA #272 Novice
    2008 ZX-10R Jack Daniels Bike

    2001 GSXR600 Coca-Cola Bike
    2002 GSXR600 VAE/Amsoil Race Bike

  9. #34

    Default

    Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun!!!!
    Oscar
    2011 RGV Chapter Treasurer

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    4,217

    Default

    lol

    Carlos Muriel
    "Speedy McSpeed"
    TSBA RGV Chapter Geek/WebmasterCowbell Sensei
    2008 Ducati 848 Slave I
    2003 CBR600RR TIE/x1 Fighter --- Sold to a Corellian Smuggler
    "Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul"

    http://mandalorian.wordpress.com/

    Quote Originally Posted by MaseK12rs View Post
    I'm a Honda guy.



  11. #36
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Fort Worth
    Posts
    1,622

    Default



    Don't ever tell Chuck how to drive......



    "If you have to sign a wavier, it is probably worth doing."

    CMRA #728

    Brandon
    2006 GSXR600 Trackbike
    2007 Aprilia SR50
    1964 Vespa ET3 motorswap

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Carrollton, TX
    Posts
    7,397

    Default

    Rob

    '84 VF500F
    '01 VFR800FI -- Too sporty for cruisers, too comfortable for squids.

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    271

    Default

    lol Good ones guys. I hope I don't repeat the ones in windsor's list but here's one more:
    If by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
    James

    "I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed." -DP-

    "I've also learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished." -DP-

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2,703

    Default

    Mase Molina
    2009-2011 RGV Chapter President
    Cell# 956.342.2631
    email: nursemmolina at yahoo dot com
    1999 BMW K1200RS
    2004 KAWASAKI ZX10R (sold)
    2007 KAWASAKI ZX1400R
    2004 Ducati 749R No.189
    1985 Honda VF1000R

    "If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."~Author
    Unknown

    "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "

    I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
    Dave Barry

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Was Tarrant, then was Bexar, now Collin
    Posts
    2,299

    Default

    While we are at it...

    New info on the exciting new BMW s1000rr...

    * The s1000rr is so fast that it's the only bike who's lap times are expressed with a negative number.
    * When you do a valve adjustment of an s1000rr, the valves automatically get adjusted on any other bikes in the vicinity.
    * Actually, the valves on the s1000rr never go out of spec, the specs get rewritten based on its valve clearance.
    * Normal dino oil automatically becomes synthetic when used in an s1000rr, and it becomes fat free and tastes great over a salad.
    * The 1000 in the s1000rr name actually denotes the bike's trap speed in mph during 1/4 mile runs...excuse me, I meant 1/8 mile runs.
    * The s1000rr doesn't pose at Starbucks...Starbucks poses next to it.
    * The s1000rr uses an rsv4 as a pitbike.
    * You will never find a printout of a dyno sheet on an s1000rr because they haven't made a sheet of paper big enough for it.
    * The s1000rr is the only bike that can indicate a left turn and a right turn at the same time and then follow through.
    * If you put an s1000rr sticker on your Toyota, Toyota won't recall it because it is just so awesome.
    * The s1000rr is so awesome it collected Jay Leno.
    * The s1000rr can not only do a 12 oclock wheelie, but it can do the noon and midnight versions.
    AND...
    * the BMW s1000rr has four modes...rain, awesome, awesomer, and Chuck Norris.
    Nathan
    2001 Ducati 996

    "Life is about using the whole box of crayons."

    "Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not." - Epictetus

    "The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." - Jack London

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2,703

    Default

    The Truth shall set you free!
    Tell it all brother tell it all!

    Mase Molina
    2009-2011 RGV Chapter President
    Cell# 956.342.2631
    email: nursemmolina at yahoo dot com
    1999 BMW K1200RS
    2004 KAWASAKI ZX10R (sold)
    2007 KAWASAKI ZX1400R
    2004 Ducati 749R No.189
    1985 Honda VF1000R

    "If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."~Author
    Unknown

    "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "

    I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
    Dave Barry

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    271

    Default

    LOL I liked the way you tied it all up with Chuck Norris, Nathan.
    James

    "I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed." -DP-

    "I've also learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished." -DP-

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Carrollton, TX
    Posts
    7,397

    Default Will Chuck Norris Blend?

    Rob

    '84 VF500F
    '01 VFR800FI -- Too sporty for cruisers, too comfortable for squids.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Canyon Lake
    Posts
    3,290

    Default

    Clint Eastwood uses Chuck Norris as toilet paper.
    Mark
    VFR1200F

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    McAllen, TX
    Posts
    312

    Default

    That's epic, Rob...
    Jeff Folk
    2004 Honda VFR 800fi (Åsa)
    1996 Suzuki GSX750ft (Lucy)


    ^^^ Don't be this guy!^^^

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Cedar Park
    Posts
    4,301

    Default

    If a tree fell in the forest and there was no one around...Chuck Norris would hear it.
    PL Laird

    2012 Yamaha FZ8
    My other bike is a Dubya Arr Fo Fiddy Eff

    "Good judgment comes from experience,...experience comes from bad judgment."

    Check out the TSBA Austin Chapter on Facebook

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2,703

    Default

    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

    Chuck Norris can swim on land.
    Mase Molina
    2009-2011 RGV Chapter President
    Cell# 956.342.2631
    email: nursemmolina at yahoo dot com
    1999 BMW K1200RS
    2004 KAWASAKI ZX10R (sold)
    2007 KAWASAKI ZX1400R
    2004 Ducati 749R No.189
    1985 Honda VF1000R

    "If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."~Author
    Unknown

    "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "

    I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
    Dave Barry

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    2,703

    Default

    Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spade, and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
    Mase Molina
    2009-2011 RGV Chapter President
    Cell# 956.342.2631
    email: nursemmolina at yahoo dot com
    1999 BMW K1200RS
    2004 KAWASAKI ZX10R (sold)
    2007 KAWASAKI ZX1400R
    2004 Ducati 749R No.189
    1985 Honda VF1000R

    "If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride."~Author
    Unknown

    "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. "

    I believe many Harley guys spend more time revving their engines than actually driving anywhere; I sometimes wonder why they bother to have wheels on their motorcycles.
    Dave Barry

  24. #49
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    271

    Default

    An Uno card??? That and the Chuck blender video are my favorites.
    James

    "I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed." -DP-

    "I've also learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished." -DP-

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    McAllen, TX
    Posts
    312

    Default

    A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and you will be handicapped if you park there.
    Jeff Folk
    2004 Honda VFR 800fi (Åsa)
    1996 Suzuki GSX750ft (Lucy)


    ^^^ Don't be this guy!^^^

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •